The Mother's Day Lowdown...According to My Son

This past week John-Heath came home with a sweet, albeit telling, worksheet in his folder.  On one side he listed some facts about why he loves me and I love him, such as...I read him books, he loves to hear me sing "Amazing Grace How Sweet the Sound", I work really hard at the middle school, he knows I am smart because I am a librarian, and I make him laugh by tickling him.


And on the reverse he filled out a little questionnaire about me.  Take a look.

Mother's name:  Tyla *****

How old is she?  43

How tall is she?  60 feet

How much does she weigh?  Well, since he thinks I am 60 feet tall I am not even going to tell you what he put down for this answer.

What color is her hair?  brown

What does she cook?  cookies (he must have had to think hard on this one)

What does she do during the day?  Check library

What is her favorite thing to eat?  salad  (I'm guessing that was just an easy word to spell)

What does she like to do for fun?  play spades  (he and I play a game on the computer most every night before we turn out the lights)

What is her favorite thing to do?  play with me

...and my favorite...

What is one thing she says often?  no

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day, spent with your own moms or those sweet gems that gave you the title.  With each passing year I am grateful to be able to spend the day with mine.

P.S.  On a somewhat disgusting sidenote...tomorrow I will get to experience the joy of having my first colonoscopy.  I've been having some issues lately and going to the doctor concerning ovarian issues has somehow led to this.  I have heard there's not much to a colonoscopy and I am hoping I heard the truth.  I do know the preparation for it leaves much to be desired.  First of all, I am starving.  Secondly, while my bathroom is a mere few feet from my bed, I am wishing it were smaller.  You know, every step counts when you've had 64 ounces of Miralax-infused Gatorade.

Nearing the End

Just another reminder...

Today marks the first day of her last week of high school.  Cue the tears.

Her Promenade

This past Saturday my daughter attended her senior prom (short for promenade, you know), which was held at The Inn at Opryland.  It rained cats and dogs, as we say here in the South, which made the evening eerily reminiscent of the last time the school held its prom at Opryland. 

Remember this?

 

Ren had a great time and I am so glad her father and I were able (via his job) to attend much of this special evening with her.  Allow me to go all mom on you and boast just a bit by sharing some pics of this high school milestone.

Ren and her date Austin

Austin, Ren, Caitlyn and Colby

Awwww...

More awwww...smooching on Pa Gene

Pretty girls and handsome fellas

Ren with her bestie, Lexie (who later won prom queen)

Prom 2013 was a hit!

43

Tired, old older eyes

So, today I blew out 43 candles.  Well...I would have blown them out had we had cake but my mom made banana pudding, which is normally a favorite of mine.  I have not been feeling too well lately and did not have much of an appetite tonight.  Actually, I got to spend this morning having some tests run at the hospital.  Mom and dad went with me.  While there, it hit me that forty-three years ago my mom, dad and I were together for the first time in this same hospital.  As nostalgic as that is, I would rather not have had to be there today.

I received lots of goodies for my birthday but, aside from spending time with my most favorite people tonight, my favorite gift was the little pig keychain and coin purse that John-Heath fished out of Ma-Ma and Pa Gene's junk drawer.  I will cheirsh it forever.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Do you know how I spell stress?  b.u.s.y.  The next eight weeks are going to be quite the busy ones here at Tire Swings, so I'm starting to get a little on edge.  Heaven help my family.  Really.

Hosting a bridal tea in my home. 

 

Prom (we get to go, too)

 

Hosting an after-prom co-ed sleepover (G rated, of course) and next day breakfast

 

Making sure Ren has everything needed for her school play

 

School play

 

A surprise "thank you" luncheon for some important people

 

Graduation (insert sad face here)

 

Graduation luncheon

 

Niece's wedding

 

Graduation trip

I always enjoy events such as these and look back over them with much fondness, but those last couple weeks leading up to them are tense times for me.  Is anyone else like that?  I wake up at night thinking of some minor detail which nearly always robs me of the remainder of the night's sleep.  Should I use hydrangea flowers in the centerpiece or roses?  Hmmm...Let me think that one over for about the next four hours. 

I use to think I would like to be a wedding/party planner, and I have many a bridal book to attest to that dream, but if the past week or so is any indication, it's a good thing I became a teacher and librarian.

Coca Cola 1, John-Heath 0

One of the biggest lessons I've learned as a parent (especially as a parent to a boy) is that you never really know from one minute to the next what excitement will come your way. 

Do you see that Coke bottle in the picture above?  It was bottled in Chattanooga, Tennessee in 1917, survived a hotel fire in Macon County, Tennessee in 1926 (the hotel was not so lucky), and managed to be dug from the earth by my husband who, while touring the old hotel grounds, spotted the tiniest portion of its neck poking above the dirt circa 1990s.  Today, it met my son.

John-Heath came into my bathroom this morning with the bottle firmly grasping his middle finger.  At first, I thought he was just holding it, playing some trick on me.  But then I noticed the look on his face.  It's a look we've seen a lot (like the time he got a coffee bean stuck up a nostril while we shopped at Wal-Mart or the time he got candle wax stuck up his other nostril because he sniffed a little too hard or the time he decided to spray paint little red dots on various items in my yard -including my house- and then decided that may not have been such a good idea, yadda, yadda, yadda...).  Yes, my friends, the bottle had a hold of him and it wasn't letting go!  In his defense, the opening to this bottle is a tad bit smaller than the openings on contemporary soft drink bottles.

My son's solution was simple...just break it.  My reply to this was that I would just as soon cut off his finger before I broke that bottle.  Of course, I would never have done that, but it didn't hurt anything making him think for a minute or two that that option was on the table.

In the end, a little warm, soapy water did the trick.  Now the bottle has been tucked back into its proper place in a cabinet, alongside a postcard from the above-mentioned hotel, an old handheld desk bell from one of our county's former one-room schoolhouses, and a few other little trinkets.  I would like to think it's safe from a repeat offense but we can't lock this particular cabinet anymore.  John-Heath lost the key a few years ago.

Attention Congregation: John-Heath Has Eaten All the Unleavened Bread, So Communion Is Cancelled.

Ren and John-Heath Easter 2013

So, two mornings ago when we arrived at church for Sunday School I passed my nephew, a deacon, as I made my way to my pew.  He was mentioning to someone (the pastor, I think) that there would be no communion.  I thought this was odd, as we always have communion on Easter Sunday.  Turns out, my son, who wouldn't think of eating a piece of cherry pie, has a culinary affinity for flour and water and has been caught eating from the storage container of communion wafers on more than one occasion.  And this morning, as my nephew began to prepare the communion table for the service, there was no unleavened bread to be found. 

Posing at church

Mild panic and rapid brainstorming momentarily ensued as all eyes turned to the suspected communion culprit, John-Heath.  I could run home and try to bake some prior to worship service.  Someone could check and see if any of the grocery stores in town were open.  I even think someone mentioned tortillas as a possible last resort.

The many faces of John-Heath...trying to get that "just right" family pic.

Luckily, the wafers were not eaten and gone, only hidden.  Turns out, Jonathan (my nephew) had forgotten that he had hidden them a while back and found them during one final search attempt.  Crisis averted, John-Heath was vindicated, and we adults were able to participate in communion...not to mention a bit of crow-eating, too.

How a Seven-Year-Old Does April Fools...

April Fools' Day has almost come and gone, so before I forget I want to list a few of John-Heath's favorites.  In no particular order...

Hey, dad!  I like your shirt.  APRIL FOOLS!!!

 

Mom, I hate you.  APRIL FOOLS!!!

 

Ren, I love you.  APRIL FOOLS!!!

 

Mom, do you want this Reese's Egg?  You can have it.  APRIL FOOLS!!!

My father also got in on the AFD action.  He called me this afternoon and asked if it was snowing at our house because it was at his.  Since it had actually snowed last week I thought he was just confusing snowflakes with some possible blooms floating away from his Bradford pear trees.  But he insisted it was snowing at his house and I fell for it - this even after just wrapping up writing my own joke for the occasion.

Well, I hope you all had a wonderful, fun start to this week.  This was our first day back to work after spring break and being AFD made it a little easier to handle.  Not much, but a little.

A New Beginning Is On Its Way (aka "California, Here We Come!")

This may come as a shock to those who know us personally, but we lifelong Southerners are heading west.  As in California west.  We've been pretty tight-lipped about it all (you know, for fear of jinxing it and then looking foolish) but John applied a few months back for an administrative position at a small private high school in northern California, and after an interview and re-interview he received word just before spring break that he had the job. 

I don't see it as being a lifelong move (so we plan on keeping our house) but it will take us out of the Volunteer State for a few years.  It was just too good a package to pass up. Of course, Ren is beside herself with joy and John-Heath is full of questions!  We've told our closest family members and we have a few others with whom to "officially" relay the news, but I just couldn't not share with you all, my faithful blog readers, our upcoming grand adventure on this most glorious first day of April.

P.S.  April Fools!!!

Easter Blessings

Do not be afraid,

For I know you are looking for Jesus,

Who was crucified.

He is not here;

He has risen, just as He said.

Matthew 28: 5-6

image via

Megan's Getting Hitched

In just a few months, on June 8th to be exact, my only niece will be getting married.  For several years, before Ren came along and ruined everything for her, Megan seemed as much like John's and my daughter as she did her own parents.   Nieces and nephews aren often the best kinds of kids to have around.  You can dote on them, spoil them rotten and then send them back home. 

When Megan was born I had already twice been made an aunt - each time to a boy.  Shane, my first nephew, was only eighteen months or so younger than me so he felt more like a brother.  And we could sure fight like siblings, too, at times.  Then Jonathan came along when I was seven.  Now, he also felt like a brother, but there was enough of an age difference that I really babied him...even when he was older (which, I'm sure, could be kinda embarrassing at times).

I was almost eighteen when Megan was born and ohhhhh how I was so happy she was a girl!  She pretty much ruled the roost and lived a little life of bliss as the only granddaughter and niece for seven years...until one day in September of '95, when a new girl came to town.  Ren. 

Things were pretty dark for Megan those first few weeks and she even contemplated running away from home (at least as far as the outside storage building).  None of us will ever forget her little seven-year-old self stomping into the living room, where we had all gathered to oooh and ahhh over the newest member of the family, and blurting out I've got my phone and some clean panties and I'm going to the building!!!

Well, despite their rocky beginning as cousins, they've grown pretty fond of each other over the years and Megan even asked Ren to stand with her as the maid of honor on her special day.

What is it they say...cousins are friends that will love you forever.  Of course, they also say God made us cousins because he knew one mom couldn't handle us as sisters.  Both are applicable in this case.

Time Well Spent

When I picked John-Heath up from school this past Friday the first thing he did was explain to me how he was going home to pack and that I would not see him for a whole week. We are out of school this week for spring break and my son had travel plans. His break was going to be spent at my parents’ house (mind you, we only live about fifteen minutes up the road and see each other at least a couple times a week).  As I began to explain all the reasons why a whole week would be impossible, he was having none of it and cut me off. “Mom, you and dad have had me for seven whole years. You can let Ma-Ma and Pa Gene get to have me for a week!”

My dad is 81 and mom will turn 80 in June. They do well for their age but taking care of an energetic, attention-lacking, into everything, seven-year-old for a solid week would be a bit much. Heck, there are times the only way I handle it is to lock my bedroom door, run a hot tub of water and sit gazing out my window at the stars (or across the fields if I happen to give in to the idea of a bath in the middle of the day).

When Ren was young she stayed with them all the time. She still stays with them a lot. They also kept John-Heath a lot when he was a baby. But when he began walking they just weren’t as able to keep up with him as they had been Ren. Keep in mind, this is a boy for whom we have had to launch countless “search parties” when he has taken a notion to take a hike, go on patrol, or scout a good place for a fox hole in our backyard -which consists of roughly 150 acres of fields and woods- without telling a soul.

John-Heath stayed from Saturday afternoon until late yesterday morning when I sent John after him. After they returned, I called my mother to ask if she and my dad were catching up on their rest. She told me how much they enjoyed having him and how they were going to miss him - and about what all he had done during his visit, what she had cooked for him each day, how much he ate of everything, how he eats more than any kid she has seen in her life, how they watched ballgames together (it’s March, you know), how he’s so smart but she’s worried because he wouldn’t even play with one set of toys for very long before dragging out something different, how when she gave him his baths he loved how soft the baby powder felt and said I (me...Tyla) never use baby powder on him, and how Pa Gene let him look at his guns and he came bounding down the stairs with a shotgun pretending to be a soldier and scared her to death. Of course, it was unloaded. And my dad, I’m sure, got a tongue-lashing.

Then...as she began to tell me how she had recently washed his little baby cups, saucers and spoons up (she’s kept them in the cabinet all these years) and planned to put them in a drawer...she began to cry.

This past Halloween, John-Heath dressed up as a soldier -complete with dog tags and medals. He is wild about anything military and is adamant he will be a soldier when he grows up (John and I have told him the only way we’ll let him join is if he does well in school and we can get him accepted to West Point). My mother and dad were so tickled to see him in that costume. My mother has said so many times since then that she was glad he dressed as that because, even though she won’t live to see him become a real soldier, she knows how he’ll look when he does become one.

Life is but a vapor and even eighty or ninety years seems too few and leaves you wishing you had more.

Ren and John-Heath with my parents - Dec. 2010

There are a lot of options out there for people on spring break, but I don’t think any could have been better spent than the three days my son took a trip down the road and stayed with my parents. I know they will always remember it and I hope he does, too. I’m pretty sure he will.

And there, in My Latest Copy of Southern Living,...

So, the other day John was thumbing through my latest copy of Southern Living and came across this...

Notice anything?  Take a closer look...

Yep.  That would be a picture of Ren and some other queens riding on a float in the Middle Tennessee Strawberry Festival parade.  The picture is actually from 2011 when she won the teen title.

If you live in Tennessee you'll find her on page TN13. Alas, if you live elsewhere in the South, your middle pages are probably different.  And while Ren's brief moment of "fame" may not have covered much territory, it was still pretty cool to see.  



P.S.  We are all off on spring break this week.  Look at what a beautiful spring day we awoke to find this morning...

Jealous?

So much for mowing the yard this week.

Springing Forward...

...also known as "my least favorite weekend of the entire year".  Ughhh!  Wanna take a guess at who'll be late for church tomorrow?  Oh, wait. I'm always a little late for church...and work...and family get-togethers...and meeting friends for dinner...and....

On Being Buck Naked and Dead

My sweet-as-a-pumpkin-pie-with-extra-cool-whip-on-top son made a couple humorous observations this past week and I just know if I don't write them down I'll be asking John in a few months...Now what was it John-Heath said that time that we thought was so funny...  

He's seven and, as such, is prone to the following vein of thought. So, keep that in mind and don't be too priggish when reading (especially the last one). 

Observation #1:
One evening while riding with his dad past a cemetery John-Heath noticed the lights on in the mausoleum and asked John about it.

John-Heath: Why are those lights on inside that place?

John: I'm not sure. Maybe in case someone wants to visit and read.

John-Heath: Read??? What are they going to be reading. They're dead!!!

Observation #2:

One morning while sitting buck naked on John's and my bed practicing the art of procrastination - aka "dressing for school" - he picks up my small magnifying mirror. Holding various items to the mirror (make-up brushes, tweezers, mascara bottle, etc.) he marvels at how big each one now appears. I didn't have to be a genius to know what was coming next...yep...you guessed it...and it was followed by this proclamation... "Hey, mom! When I hold this mirror to my private parts it looks just like a pink torpedo!".

Ren's "Beauty Mark" (and Why We Chose to Remove It)

Ren

10 months old

After this past Wednesday's post, someone remarked to me they had forgotten that Ren once had a birthmark on her face.  We are not particularly easy to offend and questions and comments about this have never bothered us.  Well, let me qualify that just a bit...when Ren was a baby John was fine with comments and/or questions by friends and acquaintances, but he was extremely...sensitive, shall we say, when it came to stares or too many questions from strangers.  He got quite angry once when someone in a store asked him in an accusing tone if he had "burned that baby".

As you can see in the above picture, Ren had a congenital pigmented nevus on the right side of her face.  When she was born it was actually reddish in color and the doctors thought it was likely a portwine stain.  Soon, though, clearly turning dark brown, we were told it would possibly become what is called a "hairy nevus".  It did.

Looking straight at Ren you wouldn't know she had a birthmark. 

Birthmarks are very common. Most of us have at least one somewhere on our body and never think twice about it. Having a large one on your face is another story. Our reasoning was very simple...kids can be cruel and school/life is hard enough without supplying people with added ammunition. So, over the course of a little less than two years and three surgeries, we chose to have Ren's removed.

Luckily, in the years before her surgeries Ren was not the least bit bothered by her birthmark. On the first day of kindergarten she was asked by another little boy in the class if she had chocolate milk on her face and she proudly told him that it was, in fact, her "beauty mark." It was good to know that Ren was self-confident but, again, kids can be cruel (even when they don't mean to be) and John and I saw no need to have hers needlessly tested over and over again.

After the frst surgery. 

It would take two more to completely remove it.

We were able to select Dr. George Yarbro, a plastic surgeon out of Nashville who had privileges at our local hospital.  He was just fabulous!  He was so gentle and kind and Ren loved him.  Going in, John and I thought it would only require one surgery but Dr. Yarbro told us if he took too much at one time the scar would be worse than the birthmark.  So, three it was.

After the second surgery.  Eating the prerequisite popsicle.

Her first surgery began shortly after she started kindergarten and the third one was done during the first grade.

You can see just a bit of her scar in this pic.

And, if you look hard enough, you might see it in this one.  Or you might not.

Today, if she is wearing no makeup and has her hair pulled back in a ponytail, you can see a faint line down the right side of her face, which is more easily visible after she's worked out and is hot and sweaty.  Every now and then someone will ask her about it.  Ever a drama queen an actress, her two favorite go-to stories are as follows:

1.  Once, she and her best friend Lexie C. got into this huge fight and Lexie took a knife and slashed her.

and

2.  (after pretending for a moment that it conjures up bad memories and she would rather not talk about it) She and I were shopping at Wal-Mart once when she was little and this crazy person (just like those you sometimes see on peopleofwalmart.com) attacked us. 

She assures me she always comes clean and tells them the truth...

...but only after seeing them get really remorseful for "bringing up such painful memories."

Have a great weekend!  It's cold and cloudy here and we may get snow...which figures...seeing as how it's the weekend. 

Sentimental Saturday: Kindergarten

Her first day of kindergarten...carrying a satchel that was almost as big as she was. 

Don't you just love how I keep getting later and later in posting these pics?  That'll teach me to name a series of posts after a day of the week.  Well, as they say (and by "they" I mean perpetually tardy people like myself)...better late than never!

Turning 5.  She was always dressing in costumes, and birthdays were no exception. 

On this particular evening she went from Pocahontas to some sort of circus performer. 

(Top) John and Ren in the garden of "Waverly Place" in Columbus, MS during the summer prior to kindergarten.

(Bottom L)  Napping (R) With John on Easter.

Fun times in school.

(Top L) An "apple smile" during the Thanksgiving feast (L) Donating a book to the school library.

(Middle) Getting ready to ride in the town Christmas parade as her school's Fall Festival Queen.

(Bottom L) Good times with friends before the kindergarten musical program

(Bottom R) Posing with the paper mache dinosaur made by her mostly me to celebrate "D" Week.

Not such a fun time.

The first of three surgeries to remove a birthmark from the side of her face.

The raggedy bear in the picture on the right belonged to Ren's grandmother Shirley before being passed along to John who gave it to her. 

His name is "the Protector" and he is what Ren slept with when she was little.

Have a fabulous "hump day" night!